The scrawny boy picked up his spectacles and touched his nose. Blood gushed out of his pale snout, prompting him to hurl expletives in some foreign language (Korean, possibly).He was about to throw a punch when the enraged internet café attendant barked. “Hoi! Stop that! Out you kids! Out! Out! Guard, palabasin mo nga tong mga batang ‘to! You kids, you out now!”
“Halina kayo, sa labas nyo ipagpatuloy bakbakan nyo!” said the guard, seizing the kids by their arms.
“Hey, don’t touch me, dumbass!” little mister four-eyed cotton bud snarled, trying to escape from Mamang Guard’s clutches.
“Hoy Jang-Geum! Don’t damas-damas me ha!? Don’t you reclaim! Let’s go!” snapped the guard, tightening his grip.
“Nognog… nognog… nognog…” the idiot beside me chanted again.
“Ikaw! Ang ingay mo!” the attendant growled, turning her attention towards him. “Tumahimik ka kung away mong palabasin din kita! Nognog nognog ka dyan!” That shut him up.
I went back to what I was doing and hammered away. Everyone was happy; well, except for the idiot.
* * *
Moral of the story: When people wrestle inside an internet café, don’t utter anything idiotic. Otherwise, the attendant will skin you alive.
Things I discovered:
- Never annoy an already infuriated internet café attendant, or else you will be mud.
- “Reclaim” is the English translation for the Tagalog term “reklamo” (for real!).
- Never wear eyeglasses if you have a gigantic head atop a bony body, you will only resemble an overgrown cotton-bud with goggles.
- Dorky skeletal kids are also capable of being bullies.
- Guards watch the Koreanovela “Jewel in the Palace”.
- If you’re a tubby black kid, no one would want to play with you. You will just get into a fight.
- Jang-Geum is the collective name of Koreans.
- Kids can be so violent, especially when they no longer want to play with their playmates.
- Korean children speak better English (with American accent. beat that!) than most Filipinos.
- Never push your opponents to the wall, you’ll get punched first.
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