Mopping my eyes again with my sleeve, I sat on the ridge; knees touching the chin, arms wrapping around my legs. I slowly rocked from side to side.Alex sat down beside me, laid a palm on my back, and lightly rubbed it. “Just give me a minute Lex.” I said, this time a little sober. Slowly he drew his arm back.
I buried my face into my hands, and silently sobbed.
“Haay…” I let out a deep sigh after a minute or two. I looked at him with red, puffy eyes; and shrugged. He didn’t say anything; instead he just nodded, seemingly telling me “it’s alright".
“Lex, it’s so unfair. I don’t understand. Why, ngano ingon-ana sila?"
“Because you permit them. Know what, you are just too … kind, maski na you know that you’re being abused, you still let them. That’s your downfall eh, you make life easier for other people to the point of ignoring your own. I don’t know if you’re a masochist or you’re just plain stupid.
“But… they’re my friends. And I’m not asking for anything in return."
“Used to be your friends. And of course you’re asking for something, for them to reciprocate. If you’re not asking for anything, what’s the point of all the screaming and getting drunk, huh? You’re frustrated, why? Because you’ve found out that these so-called friends are unable to return your kindness. Lyle, you’ve been blind. From the start it’s obvious, but then you refuse to see it. Maybe you’re right; you’re stupid and a loser."
I didn’t budge. I remained silent, eyes still fixed to the ground. His voice rose with every word, he sounded very angry. But I wasn’t surprised; in fact I’ve been expecting this.
(to be concluded…)
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