Be A Grinch, Avoid Christmas, 2

So I boarded a taxi and went to the mall, in hopes of finding solitude. Yes, I achieve a good amount of alone-ness in the company of anonyms. I’m weird, I know. But in this time and age, who isn’t?

And boy was I dead wrong. So wrong. Going to the mall to escape Christmas-induced homesickness is one hell of a trap! Like I fell into a manhole in a tux. Uh… what the hell did I just say?

So...

As soon as the guards eep-ed me with their electronic black palo-palo, my eyes were bombarded with greens and reds. Oh so Christmas-y. The sound boxes blared with music from my Santa-Clause-blah childhood, demanding me to “deck the hall with hollies and whatnot” and that I should “better not pout and better not cry” because “Santa clause is coming to town."

(Sidenote: When I was little, I had this weird obsession with snowballs. I used to think that Santa’s coming to our house to pelt me with those. So hours before the noche buena, when everyone’s getting ready for the feast, I scrape the freezer for ice and formed it into jagged little ‘snow’ orbs.)

I asked the Pizza Hut girl with a Santa hat “Since when lang kayo nag decorate for Christmas?” She told me about a month ago, and proceeded to recite their latest promos… Lady, I only asked about the decors, and no I don’t want to buy your Cheesy Hawaiian Volcano Iceberg Titanic Ultra-Magnetic Super-adhesive Maximum Cavity Protection Anti-Bacterial pizza.

I visit that mall almost everyday for my coffee, for the last bazillion years! And that’s the only time I noticed the ornamentation. I thought to myself “I must’ve been working like a cow.” (variation: “like a prostitute.”)

As my friend Erin would say “This is sooo not helping…! That is sooo going into my hate list!"

(to be concluded...)