Just Because I'm Gwapo, 3

One time I went to my Dad’s building in Makati (the “right” side of Makati by the way and yeah (!) we own a lot of buildings), and there were like, a lot of poor people in the foyer, waiting. I can tell that they’re poor, they’re black, so itim. I have never seen so much poor people in one place, like there were 8 of them.

I asked my personal BG (bodyguard, dummy!) what they’re doing in a nice place such as my Dad’s building. He said they’re looking for a job. A job!? I said. They’re not qualified, they’re poor. And he was like ‘they’re smart people’. And I was like ‘But still!'

I mean, if they’re smart and all that, then why are they, like … poor? Can they, like, think of some ways to have money? I said. And my BG (bodyguard, dummy! How many times do I have to repeat it!?) said, “That’s why they’re here, to look for money."

Uhm? I mean, yeah, we’re rich and all that, in fact we are filthy rich but it’s not our obligation to give money to poor and ugly people. And if I were my Dad, I would post a “No Pretty Face, No Entry” policy like those at the clubs. (We have exclusive clubs by the way, so if you're RFB <Rich, Famous, Beautiful>, you are certainly not welcome!) I later learned from my secretary that sometimes the number of applicants even total to like over 30. My gaahd, like 30 poor ugly people in one place!? Man oh man! Stinkeeey!

They say that we, rich people, are superficial. To them I say, you’re just jealous. You’re jealous because you’re ugly; you’re jealous because you’re poor; you’re jealous because, well, we’re better off. Don’t hate us because we’re rich and famous and beautiful and all that.

So you say that you’re government hasn’t done anything to help you, I don’t care, they’re not my government. You know why? Because they’re rich and you’re poor, they’re beautiful and you’re ugly; and they wouldn’t want to waste their beautiful-ness on you, starving rats. They'd rather shove their heads in a microwave oven than attend to you!

The only time they would want to be with you (though it makes them sick) is during election time or some photo-ops. Take a hint, people. (Oh, and you should be rejoicing. Election time's coming, so that means, you know, like money!)

So your kids are starving huh? Simple. Bring your kids to restos and if you can’t afford to go resto-ing, bring them to, like, fast-foods. It’s that simple. Duh! And you people are a lucky bunch. Imagine you wouldn’t have to worry about, like, weight-loss and liposuction and all that.

(to be concluded…)